Friday, December 5, 2008

Where are the mines?

The clock ticks away relentlessly on the bottom left, the targets keep decreasing a little more solemnly on the bottom right, as I click away furiously while analysing the numbers, looking for more squares to flag triumphantly. Sky blue 1s, bottle green 2s, maroon 3s, navy blue 4s, red 5s and the elusive turquoise 6s and black 7s adorn my imagination while I’m trying to eat in the mess, and I know I’m addicted to Minesweeper again. I make continual attempts at breaking my seemingly pathetic expert level time with the touchpad when an exam‘s 5 hours away with a sunrise in between, and I also know I’ve picked the precisely wrong time for doing that. The exams have passed by now though, taking with them a blur of a third semester. I realized, though, over this span of 14 surprisingly short weeks at the insti, that studies really are way more important than the next Prison Break episode, that assignments are to be submitted on time even if you manage to convince 85 in a batch of 86 that it’s OK not to, that I haven’t really changed much in the past few years- some say in the past ten- and that it’s never too late to try ironing my creases.


 ***

I hate using sentences with the word ‘life’ in them whenever it refers to one’s being; I’m too na├»ve, and it’s too way too early for me to do so. Plus I think things like “What I’ve learnt from life is…” or “Life is…” are for old people. I’ve edited these very lines at least thrice while typing them to make it very clear that they’re heavily opinionated. The word could’ve featured at least four to five times in the previous paragraph, and a few more times in the ones to follow. But it isn’t worth it. For me, it rarely is. I dislike Orkut status messages that say “Mah life’s screwed” or “Life’s tuf” or compare it to female dog, or any similar professions. They’re way too shallow for teenagers to be broadcasting. ‘Life’s like that’ is the only such sentence I like. Not because it’s by AP, but just because it’s too darn simple, and to the point, and so very logical. It’s almost instinctively understood, like ‘My name’s Bond’. Plus, it actually looks and sounds kind-of nice too. Try it.


 ***

For the record, by the way, in the fag end of the semester, I gave up on consuming eggs altogether, and thought it’s not really a bad idea to be a total vegetarian from now on. The guilt consumed me too much and too often for me to continue the habit. Also, I think it’s time I really start thinking seriously about my religion, and spirituality, in general, because talking to myself can only take me so far. It isn’t too hard on me and my schedule, and it can only make a better person.


 ***

One of my favourite pastimes, apart from the aforementioned game, the aforementioned TV series, and repeating long words in sentences, is reading through my past posts, and the comments on them. I love analyzing the changes in my writing- content and style-wise - and also reader reactions and frequency of comments. It’s fun. I actually cringe at the punctuation in my first few posts, and also realise how crazy the incessant brackets made you feel. It brings a smile to my face now that I think of it. And, laughing at the jokes in the comments, even when I know what‘s coming. It really is fun. I remember talking to my master about my blog, and he mentioned about the categorisation of the bloggers we know- the glory bloggers and the true bloggers. And he didn’t take a second to point out that I belonged to the first category. I agreed graciously, after an instinctive first rebuff. Before I forget, glory bloggers are those who post only once in a while, after a lot of editing and only after carefully considering whether their readers would love reading that or not. The second category, on the contrary, refers to those who post as and when they feel like, don’t really care what their readers think- or even if they have any- and stick to the definition of a web log. I guess I do fit into the first category, considering my aims at present, but also considering my shift in mood and content over the past few months, it isn’t long before I seamlessly shift to the latter. Talking of my lazy inactive master, I’d like to ask him, while restraining my impulsive desire to abuse him, to please start reading again. I guess I do fit into the first category!

I’d also like to add, that this habit of revisiting past mutterings, and discussions, extends to e-mails and chats, even those on Facebook- I sometimes copy-paste them and save them as drafts. I’ve also saved a few special mails in the ‘starred’ folder of my Gmail account.


 ***

The fact that I talk so much has made me so very transparent that I fear I may not have anything more about me to add when I’m tagged, if I’m tagged. For those who aren’t insane enough to get to the end of my posts, like AP, who I actually think might not even reach here, I’d like to remind you of my request to start the practice of tagging in the blogosphere again.


 ***

I’m typing this post as I sit in a delightfully warm room in Noida, where I’d reached last night after two bus rides I’d love to write home about. The first was with AP, where I, as usual, had a wonderful time chatting for almost the entire length of the six-hour journey, apart from the few motion-sick minutes where I’d slept with my mouth wide open. We came up with exciting plans for the magazine, ones we’d love to share with the Perusing Poet, who just about missed joining us.

The other was alone on a rickety Blueline, from the New Delhi inter-state bus station to Noida, in which I couldn’t stop raving about and feeling sad for and bad about the capital, at the same time. I was born in New Delhi and had lived 40 kilometres off the capital for about 9 years, before shifting to the city of destiny, Visakhapatnam. It’s been another nine years since, but clocks roll back effortlessly whenever I have a rendezvous with this wonderful mega-polis, and I still can’t understand, leave alone explain, the sheer love and affection I have for it. People who’ve lived here all their lives will probably never get it. Those who’ve shifted to the city might just. It doesn’t matter to me. I still can’t properly answer the very common question ‘What’s your hometown?’, and usually say ‘It’s kind-of complicated’. The feeling I have for Delhi is most efficiently described by this- je ne sais quoi.


 ***

Roaming around in the markets of Noida, it was impossible not to notice the greatly heightened security measures- frisking is mandatory at the entry points of almost every mall- and although it was only a Wednesday evening, and it was two days before a momentous one in India, December 6th, the sparse crowds were conspicuous, and a fact that didn’t exactly make my first visit to Great India Place very exciting. Reading the news reports over the week, looking at the pictures of rallies all over the country, the news of the candle-light rally at the insti, and many conversations I’d heard or participated in, all pointed to just one thing- we’re all very very united right now. But it’s sad to think that only incidents as ghastly as those of the past week end up in shows of such solidarity and togetherness. I wonder if it really needed to take this horrid event for us to finally rise and demand for change. It’s not an accusation, and it’s not that I’m trying to suggest we’re hypocritical or that I don’t appreciate this unity in any way- it just comes as a question to a simple mind like mine. There’s been enough carnage in the past to instill a sense of doubt as to whether our chosen representatives have been capable enough of protecting our homeland. But, you know what? I love the fact that people don’t care whether the guy wearing that white T-shirt standing beside them is a fish-gobbling Bengali, or that lady in the white top is a chatter-some Punjabi, or that man in that sober white shirt is a Bihari, or even someone from the north-east, or any other arbit place- all that matters is that he/she is wearing white and holding a candle for India and Indians. It’s touching, and makes me proud. If only  we could have the same feeling every single day of our lives. Utopia is a wonderful place…


 ***

P.S.- This is only for those nice guys who… wait, I do have girls reading my blog, or at least I’m trying, or am deluded enough to think so, so… This is only for those wonderful faithful tolerant people who actually did read till here. It’d be nice if you inform me what you think of the name change for the page, if you’ve bothered to notice it, and whether you think I should scrap it.

 

P.P.S.- As much as I tried not to, for a fear of sounding depressing, I couldn’t help mentioning 26/11. It weighed a little too much on my mind.

 

P.P.P.S.- I deliberately avoided using examples with profanities in the ‘Life is…’ paragraph, although the most popular example is such, as popularised by the Wild Bore.

14 comments:

Saagar said...

Why so serious?
Very well written and thought out post, but why so serious?
BTW, Minesweeper beginner- 3 seconds

Incomprehensible Idiot. Eternal Dreamer. Talkative Toon. Murty. said...

@ Lefty

First things first, congratulations ra! Lit's all over Deloitte, eh? ;)

Thanks for the well-written part but 'thought out' is not an attribute associated with beings like moi... I guess that's why it was serious. Although, I'm wondering myself where my humorous side has hidden itself.

And, haven't you heard the saying?
In the music industry and Minesweeper, all you need, to have a good time, is a big break! Under 10 seconds, all us MS players know it's a matter of luck!
Pssst... that saying's by me!

Amit... said...

Great to know what's going on in the mind of 'a forever kid'. To bring out some mutual interests, I confess that even I like browsing my blog once in a while. And I'll be a die hard blogger of the first kind.

Anyways, like you even my thoughts have been dominated by this Mumbai episode, so much that I couldn't refrain myself from drafting a full post about it. Quite a bit too serious, but it's okay once in a while.

Sushant said...

hmmm...will be frank! couldnt get to the end of the post and also couldnt help notice some plagiarism "female readers....delusion" sounds familiar doesnt it?
anywhooo....i think am a true blogger but yes who minds if you get some glory in between!
i think i know who the master was so i would spare him any of my thoughts!
@lefty
you baster! special bumps from me next time we meet!

Sushant said...

@murthy
the thankless ass that i am, i forgot to thank you for parting with your piece of red devilry...
RESPECT!

Incomprehensible Idiot. Eternal Dreamer. Talkative Toon. Murty. said...

@ Dr. Dang

Nice to see you back after a while. And, yeah, it was a little too much to ignore.

@ Soosaant

Hmph.
The plagiarism just came instinctively while typing. Maybe because your last post happened to linger. A Red Devil's (jersey's) always there for another.
Btw, hmph, again.

Anonymous said...

Thanx....the reason will tell u later
Great...the reason you know very well
OK...Let me come to the point

You know Murty, the best part I love of your writing is not exactly the 'way' you express, it is the 'thing' you express. You write pure, simple, spontaneous and obvious. And there are few who can do it.

Sushant said...

@anonymous
arre diya hai! diya hai bhaiya!
murty: this definitely deserves a private lap dance for the anonymous kid!

Sushant said...

@anonymous
how many bucks to popularise my blog?
please keep in mind the ongoing recession and the fact i am usually broke!

Incomprehensible Idiot. Eternal Dreamer. Talkative Toon. Murty. said...

@ Sushi, first

Hehe, the guessing game begins!

@ Anonymous Kumar

The guessing game begins!

I first thought it was the Perusing Poet, but later thought he'd be seriously pissed if I attributed those lines to him. So, hmmm... Not Rahul either, is it? But why anonymous? Any clues Anonymous Kumar?

dela said...

'A kid forever? A jackass forever would be more like it' was my original comment. Mr.Anon is making me wonder if I should have read the entire post afterall. On second thought, yawn. Some day, maybe.

P.S: To hell with MineSweeper. Pocket Tanks rules.

dela said...

@Sushi
More men to popularize your blog? Isn't the guy who jumped and broke his watch doing his job well enough?

Incomprehensible Idiot. Eternal Dreamer. Talkative Toon. Murty. said...

@ Whoever's posting two comments at a time

Nice! Keep up the good work! For the first time, it's not me who's doing it!

@ Dila

'Ah! He's back!' was my original comment when I saw the name.
When I saw the comment, I thought, yawn. Some other time, maybe. I'll preserve my choicest insults for someone who doesn't take them too often, and would thus remember them.

Nice to see you back and bustling, anyway! And who's Mr. Anon?

Incomprehensible Idiot. Eternal Dreamer. Talkative Toon. Murty. said...

@ Dila again

Keeping up with the trend...

Brillianto @ the second comment

And, no hmph for you. :)