The Sultan of Swing- Part II

Eagle Studios sounded a shady enough name for a film studio in Uttar Pradesh. I hadn’t heard of a Film City anywhere above the Aravalis, and it was with this sense of doubt that I entered the vehicle that was to take us there. Past acres of land supporting omnipresent apartment buildings, the Sumo lunged and leaped to a more open road, to the relative relief of my seemingly claustrophobic co-passengers. The road was finally smooth, and I reached down for my water bottle, before the oily teacher from the previous night’s dinner gasped “What is that huge golden statue of Lord Shiva?”. I smirked at his self-answering question, and continued to look for my bottle, as the driver explained in his gutka-chewing sideways voice, “Gulshan Kumar’s studios. T-Series, you know? Lots of good music.”

We reached the venue after five more minutes- in the final stretch, the car had once again gone off that good road, and hit bumps that propelled our heads through the roof, almost. I mentally patted myself on the back for not having had too heavy a breakfast, and stepped out to a building not very different from the ones surrounding it- only a storey or two smaller. An overly-fancy fountain welcomed us to the side entrance of Eagle Studios. A neat garden on our right was full with smartly-dressed school kids. Across the salmon facade of the building, near the edge that bent away to the even more fancy front entrance, stood a small table bearing a water container and a coffee machine. Huddled around it, and up ahead in front of it, were a group of teachers, chattering politely. I noticed a couple of lookers in there, but was disappointingly reminded that I had no one to point them out to. A dinner and breakfast didn’t give enough time to make acquaintances, and my partner seemed anything but interested in the fairer sex (I’d heard he was committed; I hadn’t much of an idea of the class one year senior to mine).

The guy who’d accompanied us asked us to wait as he ran inside screaming on his walkie-talkie. Before anyone could move, I grumbled to our teacher “Look, none of them are wearing blazers. Why are we being forced to wear them when they’re not part of the school uniform? I’m burning in here”. “Oh, come on, don’t be a baby. When they’re inside, even they’ll be wearing theirs. Don’t be impatient. You can take it off if you’re not comfortable now. But once we’re inside, you better be in that green coat!” As I continued to make a face, a couple of people beckoned us inside. The otherwise dully-coloured walls were replete with movie posters, with a small glass-framed plaque below each showing the year and room it was shot in. I could only spot a few I knew- Mrityudaata and Shahrukh’s Chamatkaar, amongst others. The irritatingly catchy title tune of the eponymous TV series started playing in my head. Trying to shake it off, we walked on towards the lounge, where we could watch the proceedings, as a huge applause resonated from the wall beside us. A few metres ahead, a door opened, and out he walked. “Phew! That was a close one, wasn’t it?”. He seemed to be talking to no one in particular. We walked into the lounge, where faces with contrasting emotions stared at us from cushy sofas. I was still smiling in the glory of finally seeing the man I’d previously only admired on television. The nine of us took some spots, and looked to the guy who’d ushered us in. “Sonia will be here in a few minutes. She’s the producer. Yours is the first episode tomorrow morning; the first one for the South Zone. Make yourselves comfortable.” We snuggled into the couches, as the crowd from the previous episode barged into the now-jam-packed lounge: it was time for the West Zone finals of the ESPN School Quiz 2003...

The next morning began with me complaining about our blazers again. “This is my brother’s. It hasn’t been used for almost five years, and just barely fits me. When we joined in the winter and wore this, we weren’t even allowed to go in with this! And now, suddenly, it’s the pride of the school. Those Chennai schools don’t even have ties, for goodness’ sake, forget blazers! They’re fine with coming with their collar buttons open, but we have to wear blazers. Show-offs, I tell you!” My partner calmly heard all of this, and proceeded to have his breakfast in relative peace after that...

Our episode was good, our teacher said. “You shouldn’t have gone for the win, though. Respectability could’ve been fought for. I mean, after last year’s -1, -6 isn’t...”, he stopped as I glowered at him. “Sir, in quizzes, you go out to win. If not, try keeping your school’s pride intact by giving a good show. I know -6 is a horrible score to end up at, but do you intend to insult our commitment out there?”. As soon as I said that, I feared a harangue, and bigger problems at school, but he smiled and said “I know you guys gave your best. Don’t worry, you’ll do much better next time, I know”.

Then, it happened. Harsha Bhogle (yes, it’s him centimetres from you, I pinched myself) came out of nowhere, patted us on the shoulders, and said “That scoreboard doesn’t always tell the true story. You’re a good team, DPS Vizag.” He smiled and walked to his room. My day was made, or so I thought.

As our teacher walked back to the lounge, I and my partner stayed back for water. The water cooler in the studios was just outside the main set where the episodes were shot, almost obscured by the stairs. I passed my partner a glass, and a clear voice said from the top of the steps “Yaar, thoda mere liye bhi paani lena.” A long flashy pair of black pointed boots strutted down, topped by a blue denim jeans. A tight black shirt clung to a tall muscular body, and as that left hand with a Rolex watch came for the glass in my outstretched hand, I finally saw the face with the sunglasses. It was unmistakeably clear, yet distinctly unreal, that the Sultan of Swing, and ODI cricket’s highest wicket-taker had just said “Thanks, man!” to me and shook my hand. Wasim Akram stood for a moment sipping, when Harsha walked back and said “Ah, so you’ve met the man already! Come, everybody, let’s go have a little intro session in the lounge”. The word had spread, and before they reached the lounge, Wasim was bombarded by pens and scratchpads. My teammate had run to find his bag, too. I still stood at the water cooler, dazed. I never even got an autograph, or even a photo. But, I somehow, couldn’t care less.

Stories of the Sabbath

Easily the best part of my ninety-minute bus commute to work is the stretch between the Sector-8 and Sector-11 bus stops. As the conductor announces the arrival at either, I’ve put Kane and Abel, Six Suspects and Two States down over the past week, for those precious few seconds I get to look at my school. One such early morning, I was mildly surprised to see no barrage of cycles in the stand. Between the (now) four buses, below the arch bearing the school’s name, the principal’s almost-ubiquitous car was also missing. I took a look at my watch, which showed the time to be quarter to eight. I wondered why the school would be so desolate so close to the opening time when the bus radio announced how the overnight rains had given Vizag a most pleasant Saturday morning. I recalled one-upping every kid in the township from any other school as ours had a five-day week, and felt sad I’d forgotten that very fact.

Even though it was always Sunday’s less-celebrated cousin for us school-goers, Saturday was most welcome as it heralded the dawn of the weekend: no getting up at seven, no sprints to avoid missing the bus, and best of all, (early in the new millennium) Premier League games. The absence of Power Zone on Cartoon Network and the ESPN School Quiz would dull the afternoon; nonetheless, not looking forward to the stern class-teacher’s rebukes early next morning made holy Sabbath a winner in its own category. Since Sunday would be an off-day for the parents (and would have Bournvita Quiz Contest in the morning, some new movie in the afternoon and a trip to Delhi, more often than not, in the evening), Saturday nights brought no fever, as the spectre of Monday Tests loomed ahead. All the same, the NTPC Club, as I hope the Scuttling Shuttler would corroborate, screened new movies in the auditorium on Saturday evenings.

Even the weekend harbinger changed quickly as school gave way to coaching after Class Ten. The unforgiving six-day week meant Sunday’s little brother was in no way different from the other five. Those same kids we’d been troubling with cries of “Saturday bhi school ja rahe ho?” for ten short years, were now slyly-grinning classmates. The worst part? The weekly tests from school which for so long had nurtured Monday morning blues (and for brief periods, Fridays and Tuesdays, too) had now decided to take over on Sunday, not only ruining the best day of the week, but killing Saturday evenings, too. Truly Black Sabbath.

The return of the two-day weekend in college couldn’t have been more welcome. I could once again pick on some poor ex-classmate who’d graduate on six-day weeks, and sleep in peace on Friday night (or in most cases, early Saturday morning) with no lectures or weekly tests to look forward to. The college weekend is a great leveller, as Sundays now can’t claim any bragging rights and too many times, I forget the distinction between the two days of the weekend.

Back home, in the summer holidays, I can’t distinguish between any days of the week, as I’m down sleeping or up eating no matter what Shani, Mangal or Shukra have in mind. This summer with the internship, whenever I do take the 400N that takes me past my alma mater, I realise why they love to say “Thank God, it’s Friday!”. I realise, I miss the good old Saturday.

The Bisibele Baath Diaries

Another brief tryst with the Garden City’s most wondrous weather had come to an end and with that, my three-week-long sabbatical from the World Wide Web. Gmail was to greet me back with a little under hundred unread e-mails, and perusing through them clearly wasn’t on my priority list as I hugged Big B, wishing him on his 23^rd birthday. Ma had carefully chosen and helped decorate the cake- a delicious-looking chocolate delight- and a short visit with her to Big B’s treat at Cafe Coffee Day revealed there was one more cake waiting to be devoured, thanks to TV Didi and Rachel. And, like bad luck, good fortune tends to stream in continuously- it was another chocolate cake, with both being from two of the three best chocolate pastry-making bakeries in town! My teeth’s health and their monthly check-up by Big B could take a backseat- it’d been exactly a score days since I’d had good food, and I was not going to let up. A Chocó-latte, too, was gulped down greedily in the meantime. I’d ordered that for a reason...

After a squalidly dry first week, the in-plant training kicked in to work mode, with regular morning presentations and afternoons spent reading about or configuring devices. I was ordered to buy another phone by Ma and Pa, and I reluctantly bought a threadbare Nokia- the one with the Hindi SMSing and the flashlight. And Snake. I quickly rediscovered my touch and started racking up mammoth scores. That, and the free local and national SMSing kept me busy enough till dinner, a task I somehow got through every night at the paying guest accommodation where I’d put up. The mornings at the office were to get better, too. On our second day into the second week, a routine conversation with our on-site guide revealed the coffee machine was open to us as well. More significantly- for free. We strutted in awkwardly the first time, looking to see if other employees weren’t giving us curious glares- they didn’t seem like they’d be bothered unless we were big white ghouls with a sickle in one hand and a hook for another. The overwhelming aroma of coffee beans had me hooked in a trifle. The first button I pressed was espresso, to clear my perennial confusion over which of that and cappuccino was black coffee. After quickly throwing that cup of espresso- it being black coffee- I pressed the cappuccino button, and even though I messed up on the amount of sugar I needed, Cafe Coffee Day’s impeccable mix even through a programmed machine left me begging for more. From then on, we needn’t an excuse for heading off to the pantry room, where rested that amazing little contraption. Cappuccino, elaichi tea, ginger tea, masala tea and classic tea were all duly tried and tested. Although cappuccino won a few battles, the war was decisively taken by the latte- the delectable mixture of milk and chocolate, with the almost-ubiquitous tinge of coffee, all served neatly in a cup only a few inches high, with a carefully measured spoon of sugar- just perfect.

While the first weekend was positively squandered doing nothing, the next was spent with an old monk, Rapu, in Bengaluru’s most famous mall. Although the fairer gender left us squarely disappointed, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine didn’t, even when the entire movie was made to rest on his shoulders alone. Lunch at a beautifully designed North Indian restaurant, and (yet another) coffee at CCD, and I was off to the city’s outskirts again in those breezy air-conditioned buses that glide through the city roads. Although there was a television at the PG, it was shared and that meant I was only to hum random Kannada songs, when not chatting with the two interns from DCE who were also staying there.

Back home, the first thing that caught my eye on the TV’s programme list was the return of The Championships, and I found myself ooh-ing and aah-ing at the sight of the lush green tennis courts at SW19, London. The state-of-the-art retractable roof notwithstanding, the air of tradition wafted all the way through to my couch, as I gazed like an eight-year-old, in amazement. Alan Wilkins and Vijay Amritraj’s voices were a relief after the drab Rolland Garros coverage, but despite this beautiful sojourn through the various courts at Wimbledon, just one thing seemed missing- the one thing that those most wonderful articles in The Hindu had described assiduously. The next evening was to see that culminating at Centre Court- His Royal Highness Roger Federer, prancing like a freed gazelle. Now, some who may have watched tennis with me may think I’m not a Federer fan and am thus, now being a hypocrite. The only reason I supported Nadal through the Australian Open and other tournaments, is that I felt he was the one who could bring the latent best- yes, even more- from the champion, that He needed a thorn in the flesh to bloom further, a loss’ bitter pill to make that one elusive victory that much sweeter. The French Open triumph has brought back the FedEx, who almost effortlessly, almost carelessly brushed aside the competition to equal Bjorn Borg’s once-impossible record at the greatest stage of ‘em all. Watching Him thwack forehands wide, snuff those once-pristine backhands, and grimace in agony at those double-faults was painful, and to see Him recover from that, and come back to play the divine tennis that we worship Him for, is precisely what sport is all about.

I bow to The King.

P.S. - A little fiasco involving a long-overdue recommendation letter had me bunking office for two days. I got to complete my intern only because of Pa, Musit and Tiwari ji. A big thank-you to you all.

P.P.S. - By the bye, the prettiest lady I encountered during the entire duration turned out to be in the office all along. Although one of my comrades flirted openly with her, leaving us staring open-mouthed one time and throwing punches another, the idiots that we were, she was the only company employee whose card we didn’t take. Sigh.

All Apologies

I’m back again. I tried it all. I saw two riveting Bourne movies, felt too tired to watch Wall.E and saw one of my, and, as I found out later, one of Aamir Khan’s favourite movies- Forrest Gump once again. I saw four days of high-quality cricket- as expected in a clash between the world’s top two teams. I stared at Shambhavi for about 133 seconds but even good looks can’t save a show as doomed as G-Talk is. How can you expect a show hosted by too incorrigibly unintelligent, nosily noisy and irritatingly giggly chicks- one not even pretty- to survive my remote’s ungrateful juggernaut? I tried sitting online- visible, for a change- for four hours at a stretch and that too not in the happy hours. I even tried becoming a regular viewer of Saas, Bahu Aur Saazish but nothing worked. The only option that’s been left untried is that gleaming DVD in the back of the laptop case containing 3 seasons of bites of heaven in the form of that goddess called Cobie Smulders. I restrain myself from doing that because of my unspoken law of following a maximum of three TV shows at a time. Thankfully, Heroes has completed season three. But, two episodes remain for me to watch. I even went outside- alone, for the first time in these holidays. But, even that venture ended up in me either muttering about all the stupid people along the way, or humming Society by Eddie Vedder.

 

This overwhelming lack of zest has left me in a state where even my grammar has taken a beating. Good music gives respite only for a few minutes. Even the Sudoku is now done and thrown away with contempt. Television is a drag- even with over a 100 channels, although discounting the vernaculars, it’s probably six dozen. I’ve become the epitome of the lost geek- I lack passion for everything. The only thing that interests me apart from chatting with my family, is chatting with a pair of twins I haven’t met in nine years. But, they live in a time-zone that’s almost a mirror image of time here- an eleven-and-half hour time gap. Other people I’d like to chat with are either in situations where I’d rather not bug them with whines like this, or are never to be found. The only thing to look forward to seems to be the school alumni meet four days away. Even Douglas Adams’ sequels seem rather dull- I only read a chapter a day now, compared to a book a day some time ago.

 

The last way I wanted to post again was this. Oh, I had such brilliant plans. Or what I thought to be brilliant. The prevailing cynicism, though, now suggests that I’d be the only one who’d think so. OK, I’d let it out. I had planned to make seven lists of my top six for the year gone by- 42 things of the year. The last list, to be published on the last day of the year, was supposed to be my top six moments of the year. Others were the top six songs I heard in the year, top six movies seen, six things that I’d rather not have happened with me, six people to watch out for in the year to come, six dishes I totally dig, and six quizzes I’d love to do in the next year but trust myself to be too lazy to make. But it all seems like a worthless exercise now. I can’t believe how I’m able to survive without little or no passion for almost anything. The usual spring in my voice on the phone is now replaced by a morose ‘pata nahi’ for just about everything. Even the prospect of staring at the usually-mesmerising Parizad Kolah doesn’t sustain my interest for more than a minute now- probably because Navjot Singh Sidhu’s incessant, unnecessary laughter kind-of puts me off. I find Raghu’s blatant bleeping on Roadies more interesting. That and the promise of Premier League football may make for a better weekend. Or else, they might make for another long drag of a post.

 

If only I had that NDTV Imagine pack. Oye, It’s Friday seems to be a bit of relief from the mundane bunch of TV shows nowadays. So does Fantastic 5 on MTV. But it’s only a five-minute filler, as the name may suggest. Oh, if you’re really on the dole, then try reading the whole of the Tickr on MTV- you’ll realise there are more jobless people than you- a fact that may be comforting, in the right mood.

 

P.S.- Roadies this season so far seems to be heading for only one word- DUD. The auditions throw up stupid people, and the ones chosen are even more so. Plus, there’s no chick factor, either, yet. The Ahmedabad and Bangalore auditions, for instance, were a farce.

 

P.P.S.- Sometimes I almost feel people with exams right now are darn lucky. And, curse Microsoft for not putting Minesweeper in Vista Business. Now, how do they expect one to be busy?