Holi, Hammering, Hair and Happiness!

Holidays are on, and it was Holi yesterday. I only got up at eleven, as is the norm but Big B got me ready quickly and we went around the township looking for fellow revellers. Unfortunately, there were none to be found. The whole township was deserted- maybe because it was exam time (which didn’t seem the most obvious reason straightaway. Sad...), and also because undergraduates like us were few and far between. Anyhow, he wouldn’t let go and with his favourite tactic- shock and awe- Big B smeared purple gulal all over my face and “Holi hai!” it was. It was a quiet Holi at home, with a little bit of colour smeared on everyone, and some amazing sweets and food. Ma, Pa and Big B all got their messages and phone calls to reply to, leaving me and my almost-unknown local phone number feeling left out. The STD phone was too busy to be used and I only replied to the solitary SMS I happened to get on my new number- with an M2G original, of course!

 

This was in great contrast to the Holi I’d celebrated in the insti a day before leaving for home. Talk of chalk and cheese! That revelry went on past two hours, and included many songs and dances, permanent colours of various hues, shouts and screams, but most importantly, it had the element of forced wardrobe malfunctions, or in simpler words, clothes being torn off! My famous salmon short kurta was one of the first victims, and 3^rd year Meta was at its perverse best, going down and dirty to the knickers when they ran out of shirts and vests to rip off. The best part was that after all this, there was a fashion show, with all participants strutting whatever stuff was left! And, as the cherry on the cake, there was a special mention for the best costume! Sushi finished a close second in that one, for his Jenna Jameson-type ensemble. I wonder if it was the Reptile’s Superman-in-white-diapers costume that finished first, or if Jaipur’s Is-it-there-or-is-it-not apron won it. The final group photo session was memorable, too. I still seriously wonder how the Reptile made it back to Azad from Ravindra in that garb!

 

The original Holi at home, although a stark contrast to the one described above, was fun all the same- both being my first Holi celebrations after three or four years. I also had the pleasure of watching India pummel the Kiwis into submission yesterday. It was after quite a long while that I sat down to watch an entire innings, and it was worth it! Viru was at his blazing best, scoring the fastest ODI hundred by an Indian, and reigniting that favourite dream topic of cricket-lovers: Who’ll score the first double hundred in ODIs? (A little-known fact is that Belinda Clark, an Australian batswoman, has already done that in women’s cricket) Brendon McCullum, one of my contenders, believes it’s going to be one of Chris ‘Gale Force’ Gayle, Virender ‘Blitzkrieg’ Sehwag or Sachin ‘God’ Tendulkar. Oh, God. One of my biggest regrets this year (already) is missing him score that glorious 163 last week. The aforementioned Kiwi thought that if it weren’t for that stomach injury, nothing would’ve stopped him from that impending double hundred. What could have been! And I missed it all!

 

Although AP’s is an extreme case, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar (to be henceforth referred to as God, in this post) has shaped many a childhood in our generation. The sheer number of kids growing up in India, holding that MRF bat in the store and saying “Main Sachin banunga” (I’ll be the next Sachin) is probably greater than Australia’s entire population. It saddens me to think, that when he retires, or maybe now already, children growing up now don’t have an idol like him. MSD is OK, but God is a level above. I still remember 1998, that tournament in Sharjah. Tony Greig’s excited voice was breaking as Sachin smashed boundary after boundary off the hapless Aussies. Then came those two strokes that’ll forever remain etched in my memory- those two straight sixes off Steve Waugh and Michael Kasprowicz. That wasn’t my first cricket match, or the first time I saw God, but I knew my life was never going to be the same. The next generations are never going to have that. Forget that- even gully cricket’s now losing its grip. Tazos, cards, tops and other random Jap imports seem to be more popular. Sigh...

 

After the end of the match, lunch followed, and a short nap on the sofa later, Big B and I headed off to the barber’s. It’d been quite a while since I’d been to the barbershop in the township. Big B’s turn was obviously first and I sheepishly forked around the place. The comfortable bouncy couch had been replaced by a solemn stone bench, with no backrest. There weren’t random Telugu newspapers or magazines to gawk at, either. The little 12-inch TV wasn’t there to be seen, too. That left only one form of entertainment- the Infinite Mirror Paradigm. Oh, boy! Every fortnight on Sundays, we’d be over at the barber’s staring away at the mirrors when not arguing over whose turn it was. Indian barbers are freakin’ geniuses. I wonder whose idea it was to implement this marvel! One can stare at it for hours, or however long it takes for three haircuts before yours. One image in another in another in another; front-view, back-view, front-view again, and it never ends! Compare this to those men’s salons with one just one mirror in front, with that sad three-hundred-rupee-paying face looking back at you, forlorn. I don’t give two hoots for fancy haircuts sometimes, when I hear the sweet sound of fifteen rupees being asked for. With the infinite mirror entertainment program coming in for free, it couldn’t be a better bargain! Yeah, but I’d like it if the stupid radio was switched off. Random Haddu love problems aren’t great to listen to in conjunction with those scissor snips.

 

The icing on the sundae was when we returned back to the city, and headed off for ice-cream after dinner. Yup, same place as before. I had Black Forest Fantasy this time. Dad loved his All Litchis so much, that he went on and on about how wonderful Jack Frost is, and so pleased he was, he went over for another- a Choco Chips cone, this time. Oh, did I forget? As ironical as it is, I love this wonderful ice-cream shop’s tagline: Happiness. Served Chilled.

 

P.S. - I still have a size 6 Reebok cricket bat, which we still use whenever we get in the mood for cricket. Beta, MRF waale to khatam ho gaye. Sachin nahi to Azhar ke bat se kaam chala lo! (We’re out of MRF bats, son. Try Azhar’s bat if you can’t get Sachin’s!)

 

P.P.S. - I’m reading Ruskin Bond, right now, and he is a joy to read!

Holidays, Holes and Hope

It’s the end of yet another set of holidays, and, yet again, I find myself wondering how time flies by. December 5^th has turned to December 30^th, as after a cursed and delayed journey, I check back in to my room in R-land. It was another waste of 3 weeks, as I spent the days out leaving all those plans made early in the semester in shambles. The chance of a summer internship- abroad or otherwise- seems very bleak, considering the fact that I’m yet to make my resume. So does the chance of gaining any love and/or respect among any past batch-mates, considering the fact that I called up only one of them, and that too only once during my entire stay. In short, I’ve been a fiend of a friend, a shallow student, and worst of all, a sallow son. And what do I do to make up for it? Sit up at one in the morning to type it all out. The lessons learnt...

 

I also happened to catch two movies in the theatres during the holidays- Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and Ghajini. Both were highly incredulous too many times to like, but the former’s music only slightly helped it stay afloat in my sea. The more memorable watches were the repeat watches of the Pirates series- you can’t get tired of Jack Sparrow too soon! Also, I posted on this page an incredible eight times, which reminds me I really feel Sushi’s absence in the comments pages.

 

Over 2000 kilometres apart, the irony is too good to ignore. Last night, I was sleeping at home with the air-conditioner turned on, and as soon as I got out of the bus a few hours ago, my feet froze in a flash, my jaw clenched close tightly, and my arms went all around my chest looking for a way to keep warm. Even the 30-second stroll to the canteen from the room was quite a struggle, with the swirling mist hissing and striking hard on my cheeks. A steaming-hot soup Maggi was what it took to wrench open my jaw again, and after that light dinner, I checked back into my room, to see that even with the heater turned on, the temperature was a measly fifteen degrees Celsius. I’m sure this winter is going to be tough on us 8’o’clockers from the Electrical department!

 

I know resolutions aren’t my thing (as stated here) but, boy, I need some prayers for the year to come! The competition is ever-increasing, the cut-throat nature of this whole process is definitely not built for someone like me, but, as they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get growing.

All Apologies

I’m back again. I tried it all. I saw two riveting Bourne movies, felt too tired to watch Wall.E and saw one of my, and, as I found out later, one of Aamir Khan’s favourite movies- Forrest Gump once again. I saw four days of high-quality cricket- as expected in a clash between the world’s top two teams. I stared at Shambhavi for about 133 seconds but even good looks can’t save a show as doomed as G-Talk is. How can you expect a show hosted by too incorrigibly unintelligent, nosily noisy and irritatingly giggly chicks- one not even pretty- to survive my remote’s ungrateful juggernaut? I tried sitting online- visible, for a change- for four hours at a stretch and that too not in the happy hours. I even tried becoming a regular viewer of Saas, Bahu Aur Saazish but nothing worked. The only option that’s been left untried is that gleaming DVD in the back of the laptop case containing 3 seasons of bites of heaven in the form of that goddess called Cobie Smulders. I restrain myself from doing that because of my unspoken law of following a maximum of three TV shows at a time. Thankfully, Heroes has completed season three. But, two episodes remain for me to watch. I even went outside- alone, for the first time in these holidays. But, even that venture ended up in me either muttering about all the stupid people along the way, or humming Society by Eddie Vedder.

 

This overwhelming lack of zest has left me in a state where even my grammar has taken a beating. Good music gives respite only for a few minutes. Even the Sudoku is now done and thrown away with contempt. Television is a drag- even with over a 100 channels, although discounting the vernaculars, it’s probably six dozen. I’ve become the epitome of the lost geek- I lack passion for everything. The only thing that interests me apart from chatting with my family, is chatting with a pair of twins I haven’t met in nine years. But, they live in a time-zone that’s almost a mirror image of time here- an eleven-and-half hour time gap. Other people I’d like to chat with are either in situations where I’d rather not bug them with whines like this, or are never to be found. The only thing to look forward to seems to be the school alumni meet four days away. Even Douglas Adams’ sequels seem rather dull- I only read a chapter a day now, compared to a book a day some time ago.

 

The last way I wanted to post again was this. Oh, I had such brilliant plans. Or what I thought to be brilliant. The prevailing cynicism, though, now suggests that I’d be the only one who’d think so. OK, I’d let it out. I had planned to make seven lists of my top six for the year gone by- 42 things of the year. The last list, to be published on the last day of the year, was supposed to be my top six moments of the year. Others were the top six songs I heard in the year, top six movies seen, six things that I’d rather not have happened with me, six people to watch out for in the year to come, six dishes I totally dig, and six quizzes I’d love to do in the next year but trust myself to be too lazy to make. But it all seems like a worthless exercise now. I can’t believe how I’m able to survive without little or no passion for almost anything. The usual spring in my voice on the phone is now replaced by a morose ‘pata nahi’ for just about everything. Even the prospect of staring at the usually-mesmerising Parizad Kolah doesn’t sustain my interest for more than a minute now- probably because Navjot Singh Sidhu’s incessant, unnecessary laughter kind-of puts me off. I find Raghu’s blatant bleeping on Roadies more interesting. That and the promise of Premier League football may make for a better weekend. Or else, they might make for another long drag of a post.

 

If only I had that NDTV Imagine pack. Oye, It’s Friday seems to be a bit of relief from the mundane bunch of TV shows nowadays. So does Fantastic 5 on MTV. But it’s only a five-minute filler, as the name may suggest. Oh, if you’re really on the dole, then try reading the whole of the Tickr on MTV- you’ll realise there are more jobless people than you- a fact that may be comforting, in the right mood.

 

P.S.- Roadies this season so far seems to be heading for only one word- DUD. The auditions throw up stupid people, and the ones chosen are even more so. Plus, there’s no chick factor, either, yet. The Ahmedabad and Bangalore auditions, for instance, were a farce.

 

P.P.S.- Sometimes I almost feel people with exams right now are darn lucky. And, curse Microsoft for not putting Minesweeper in Vista Business. Now, how do they expect one to be busy?

Nostalgia, Nineties and New pinch!

I was thinking that I’m about to go crazy. I do that quite often. Think, that is. I had to wait for another day. A full two hours away. Jason Bourne gladly obliged...

 

It’s 1:47 a.m. as I start typing out yet another post- I’d made a note on the sidebar before I started the movie lest I forget what it was to be about. Dad just purchased that ubiquitous GRE preparation book. For Big B. I laid my hands on it a day before he could. The look of the packet gave away the fact that it wasn’t a second-hand copy. Boy, no! It was a spanking new 2008 edition cover. White and a shade of sea green whose precise name I don’t know- my vocabulary is limited when it comes to colours. I guess turquoise and fuchsia are as far as I go. (The fact that MS Word 2007 thinks it’s spelled right has me very pleased!)

The packet looked inviting, even more inviting than the bunch of The Hindu newspapers- Deccan Chronicle is entertaining alright but you can’t survive without a proper newspaper for more than four days. (May I gleefully add, I actually went through over half of the Sunday magazine supplement today- and I must say, it’s a most wonderful joyride!) The clock has just gone past 2 a.m. and my internet connection’s happy hours start now. I’ll just move over to the room with the router, and be right back. You may go and pick up a cuppa coffee, till then...

 

OK. I’m back. So, where were we? Yes, I’d just laid my hands on Big B’s brand new book, and opened it with little or no regret. The smell of a new book is intoxicating, highly pleasurable, and in this case, brought back some sweet memories...

 

The re-opening of school is this seriously amazing time- the holidays are long beyond a point, and even the fiercest of school-haters get bored enough to want to go back to school. Ah, back to school! The phrase was all over- on people’s lips, their bags, the stickers on their books. Oh! The best part about being back to school was new books! The long waiting in the non-existent queues, the ever-present heckling over the prices, and the overwhelming curiosity to see how colourful the books would be! The big fat ones were always eyed with suspicion, and although one would be very happy to see they were not going into his/her packet, the curiosity to hold even those mountains was always present in the back of the mind. It would be one long, seemingly longer wait to get home and scythe through those packets and lay our hands on the shiny new books! Oh, boy! The calls from the parents to wait till the haldi (turmeric) was applied were almost always disdainfully ignored- at least when it came to the books of that one wonderful subject. After all the covers had been compared- even those of Big B’s- our greedy hands would go straight to the English books- the readers, to elaborate. We’d finish off the whole book the very night- the Maths and Science books would lie untouched for most of the year, leave alone that particular night! But the English books were spared that fate- when the reader was finished being read, and discussed animatedly, sometimes even the main course book, better known as MCB or even MSB in some places, would be scourged for stories, if any.

I remember how my spirits weren’t so high waiting for the class 9 English books, having read Big B’s already. The change in CBSE syllabus couldn’t have come at a better time! Plus, it had stories by O. Henry, R.K. Narayan and Guy de Maupassant- a total joy for short-story lovers! The poetry section was classy- although the archaic language tried its best to make it difficult to digest. I also recall how classes 11 and 12, where I’d shifted to the A.P. state syllabus, were so very disappointing, with almost all stories being repeated, and very few good new ones. Big B had better ones, including the first-ever detective novel- The Moonstone- for full novel-reading. We had Treasure Island, for god’s sake! Brilliant book it is, but more than half of the class had read it multiple times years ago! Not me, though. But I sympathised, and thus, echoed the disappointment anyway.

Anyway, my favourite English reader was the one we had in class 7- not sure whether it was the one published by Oxford or McMillan. But it had some of the most brilliant stories- especially considering the fact that it was a class 7 book. The likes of Riding The Divorce Express, The Slaughter Of The Lamb (by Roald Dahl, I guess), The Monsoon by Khushwant Singh and Rikki Tikki Tavi by Rudyard Kipling are still revered greatly. After You, My Dear Alphonse was nice, too.

And, for the record, I screwed my chance of topping my school in the class 10 board exams in English, thanks to some unforgivable mistakes like not knowing what to fill in ‘He came home and took ___ his boots.’ I had no idea, for some reason, and guessed ‘out’. I got 95. My teachers weren’t too pleased. And, the state board? Don’t even talk about it. Class 11 boards- I thought I wrote a near-perfect paper and got 90. I toned down the language, shortened my answers, actually read a guide for English (a total disgrace, forced upon me though) and after writing the class 12 paper, said confidently- “I challenge you to give me anything less than ninety-freakin’-nine.”

 

I got 80.

Dostana, Digression and... Dhupia?!

Today’s a Tuesday, meaning it’s the day for one of my favourite columns in The Hindu- Know Your English. The knowledge gained today was particularly interesting, the standout being the phrase ‘academic bulimia’. It really amazes me as to how the languages sometimes have the exact words or phrases for common things- and trust me, look up the phrase, unless you know it already, and you shall be, too! Another interesting titbit of info was about the pronunciation of ‘potpourri’. So many years of reading and using the word, and only today did I realise that there’s a silent ‘t’! That’s what I love about this column- it’s almost always got a revelation in store! In fact, the juicy quote at the bottom of this column every week is the source for my most-used quote, which can be found a few pixels to the right of what you’re viewing presently. Of course, too many variations of the same have now been used by a gamut of celebrities- including the one by Neha Dhupia, where the feet in the quote were replaced by... you should know it- I can’t mention it here- on a FilmFare cover .

 

(Digression- It’s the Dostana playlist playing right now, and the very song Lefty wanted on my playlist last time out!)

 

Anyway, chatting with a friend on Gmail the other day, I mentioned that I was obsessed with my blog these days, and that everything seems worth a post- more and more signs of shifting to the second type of bloggers. Sad for them. Oh, another digression, please.

 

(Digression- Did I forget to mention in the music post, that I totally dig Shut Up & Bounce, and it was on the playlist that night? Although I so didn’t dig the unofficial Indian ambassador to the city of London, Ms. Big Brother, in the video!)

 

A glance at my last three posts revealed that I blabbered on TV, music, movies and food- pretty much everything I’m upto in these holidays, unlike others off to the explore the wonders of the world, in Egypt and China, to be precise. Can’t wait for their excited narrations. Speaking of Egypt, I saw The Bucket List last night. Very nice movie. Another Morgan Freeman starrer on the list of movies I like- this brilliant actor might as well take over SRK, at least numbers-wise! I also happened to watch a movie called Definitely, Maybe. It’s a 2008 release, and of the actors, I only knew Rachel Weisz (pause for drool and starry-eyed sigh... and we’re back), and had kind-of heard of Ryan Reynolds. I’m not really sure which genre to club it in- romance might fit best, although rom-com isn’t too bad either. Again, I might be walking a tightrope saying this- Big B gave me a most quizzical look and said I had pathetic taste- but I really liked the movie- especially Abigail Breslin as the protagonist’s 11-year-old daughter, Maya. Plus, Isla Fisher’s really cute in the movie, playing April Hoffman, and Rachel Weisz as Summer Hartley is, as always, worth pausing and drooling. The pause-and-drool list, by the way, is ably led by Catherine Zeta-Jones and Nicole Kidman, among a host of others. I tend to make up this list whenever there’s a new addition.

 

The MTV Tickr, a fairly popular addition this year to the channel, was looking for writers, the other day. On some days, I seriously think it does need good ones, badly, although the guy/gal writing the Uday Chopra or Ghajini jokes isn’t really bad. The horoscope guy is simply pathetic- seems like just a space-filler.

 

(Digression- Dance Pe Chance has weird lyrics, but I guess with that kind of title, it’s warranted!)

 

Speaking of horoscopes, I’d like to let you in on some more about me. I simply love reading the horoscope in the papers every day. Before you add a few more points to my weird quotient, may I add that I do so only after the end of the day. I just like to measure how they accurate they turn out to be, and the days they do turn out to be even a little close to reality- after various twisting, twirling and imaginastics operations- I smile and go on to read Calvin and Hobbes, which, needless to say, is simply mind-blowing! My philosophy when it comes to astrology and horoscope, is borrowed from the beginnings of quantum mechanics- take known results and fit them into theories, or build theories around them. That way, the chance reading of my Chinese zodiac sign’s Wikipedia entry was great fun. The thing with astrology, at least in the case of sun-signs and Chinese zodiac, that most people dismiss as inaccuracy is actually quite unfortunate. Of course, it’s impossible to predict one’s characteristics when hundreds of thousands of completely distinct people are born in the same year, or the same span of weeks. But, the characteristics that these methods attempt to give are only a set of traits that may define a person, and it isn’t necessary that one fits all- one is supposed to fit only a particular subset of that set. Try looking at it this way, and you might just be able to appreciate such things. My Chinese Zodiac sign- Horse- is amazingly close to being me, especially that particular paragraph about secrets on the Wikipedia page, left me awe-struck. Mom and Big B are both Tigers, something the latter always uses in arguments involving deciding who’s more majestic.

 

(One final digression- Just finished playing the whole RNBDJ album. Not as impressive as the reviews, but Haule Haule is too charming to snub the album! And, a tip for all those with a small but growing library- just play the Rock On album when you run out of tracks; there’s a song for every mood!)

 

Before I sign off, I feel very strange ending a post without any post-script(s). No useless info to add. Sigh!

What's in a name?

The end of another calendar year is near. Ergo, so is this blog’s first anniversary- better known as the first bloggiversary. And, less than a month before the D-day, the blog’s name has been changed as notified in the previous post but mostly ignored. Hmph. I guess that’s because I never explained the change. Well, here goes...

Yours truly was sitting in this delightfully warm room in Noida, and with the cable’s limited capability, was reduced to watching a half-hour ‘news’ report on how four friends hacked another friend to death during a drunken night out. Infotainment at its very best, one might say. Another might just throw up on him. But, one might just deftly change the channel, to a totally unintelligible Tamil channel and then decide to just shut the idiot box for good. This is exactly what I did, as I sat down to type out one of my longest posts. And, change was the thing on my mind, as I thought up more interesting about-me’s for Orkut and Facebook, and this page wasn’t spared too, as I thought ‘The Geek speaks... or rather types!’ wasn’t even a joke any of the Big Bang Theory quartet would’ve appreciated, and, Amy Lee, Shawn Michaels, The Rock, Jena Malone (who played Christopher McCandless’s sister in ‘Into The Wild’) and a few other arbit crushes and idols crossed my mind, and, the next thing I know, I have a new title for this webpage! Of course, implementing that change, and publishing that post, were 8 hours of sleep and a 4-hour flight away. But, then, after that patient wait, spent dreaming about playing the Sultans Of Swing guitar solo in front of my tenth grade batch, and reading the in-flight magazine twice over (ignoring the stupid lofty ads, of course), the changes were duly made, and they shall stand till the next change of mood comes along, ignoring peacefully the challenges posed by nostalgia, incumbency, and a fetish for choosing easily memorisable dates for occasions.

Whoa! Was that sentence long? Grammatically correct, but the structure was surely something my high-school teachers won’t be proud of. I remember telling one- my class-teacher for two years, and one of my favourites- about my blog. She did express a sense of happiness, pride, and some more emotions you would associate with teachers when you meet them after a long while. But, little curiosity was exhibited. Boy, they do know how to dodge these kinds of situations! Never once was the link to my blog asked for, and lost in conversation, I forgot to give it, too. Sad. I guess I’ll get a banner, or wear a T-shirt, to publicise my blog at my school’s alumni meet. I wonder if I’ll be kicked out unceremoniously. Or worse, not allowed to enter in the first place. But I know it’s a dead idea, anyway- I’d be too lazy and too frugal to get that T-shirt made in the first place. The Black Sabbath T-shirt, on the other hand, is a much better idea. And one I think I am going to go ahead with. Oh, in the sudden change of topic, I forgot to mention- I’ve become a huge fan of Black Sabbath over the past couple of months. But, Dire Straits still rule- Crazy Train was toppled by Brothers In Arms. Tandoori Nights, though, continues to play in the background. If loving you was wrong, I don’t wanna be right... (A highly nasal) Rabba Rabba...

 

By the way, back home, and I haven’t learnt any lessons from all my previous holidays, and continue to sit watching TV series and movies on the computer, when not fulfilling the role of Couch Potato. TV’s seen a sea change, now though. No more K-serials on Star Plus. That’s probably robbed the pleasure, and killed the routine, of many a housewife, and working ladies, too, across the country. I know this is coming very late but I had to experience the change to talk about it- and although the channel listings are full every time I press ‘Guide’ on the remote, the hole left by the removal of these serials, not just on the channel, but in our lives, is yet to be filled. Afternoons and nights aren’t the same anymore. This, of course, has given a great opportunity for the other contenders for the No.1 channel spot to rise, especially when one of them has a Balaji show running on it. But, Bani can never be a Tulsi or a Parvati. I still remember, when we’d shifted to Vizag, and had survived in a house without cable television for a few months (Jai Hanuman, Suraag and Chitrahaar were the saviours then), how everyone had a glimmer in their eyes, when they discussed Mihir’s killing-off, and subsequent bringing-back-to-life. I remember reading in newspapers, that Resident Welfare Associations (RWAs, Noida residents would prefer) had actually taken out rallies in many cities, demanding a change in the story, to bring Mihir back. Considering that, the response to this taking off air of the very same serials, has been quite muted. It’ll also be interesting to see how Smriti Z Iraani and Sakshi Tanwar (thankfully, no numerological name change for her) will come back to try and break away from the moulds of the immortal Tulsi and Parvati, respectively. And also, whether Ekta Kapoor will ever deliver something as legendary as KSBKBT and KGGK ever again- these along with KBC, have been enchanting TV viewers since their almost simultaneous release nine years ago.

Speaking of KBC, in what seems to me as an attempt to regain viewership, Star One is now telecasting ‘Legends of KBC’, a collection of classic celebrity KBC episodes. Interesting it will be, to see whether it does gather eyeballs. What has caught mine, though, are some really interesting advertisements. The Futures General insurance ad, showing how a family helps their elderly grandma blow all the candles on her birthday cake, and the new Airtel ad, with Shreyas Talpade rolling back the years with his father, manage to bring a smile to one’s face, and I consider them to be delightful ads. The new Virgin mobile ad, although not as brilliant as its predecessors, remains characteristically cheeky, and gets the point across, importantly.

 

Sigh! There goes another attempt at a short post! There goes another attempt at a good post! There goes another post... (A sigh of relief may now be let out by you without any reservations)

 

P.S.- Do check out my Orkut About Me. And the status message, too. Puhleez!

P.P.S.- Whatever the post may suggest, I liked Kahiin Kisii Roz (not sure about the spelling) the most, as I had a brief crush on Mouli Ganguly, and for the legendary Ramola Sikand. Just to clear the air, I watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Scrubs, mostly, nowadays.

P.P.P.S.- Kung Fu Panda is an awesome movie. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is forgettable. Memento isn’t- condition or no condition. And BBT season two is off the hook!

Where are the mines?

The clock ticks away relentlessly on the bottom left, the targets keep decreasing a little more solemnly on the bottom right, as I click away furiously while analysing the numbers, looking for more squares to flag triumphantly. Sky blue 1s, bottle green 2s, maroon 3s, navy blue 4s, red 5s and the elusive turquoise 6s and black 7s adorn my imagination while I’m trying to eat in the mess, and I know I’m addicted to Minesweeper again. I make continual attempts at breaking my seemingly pathetic expert level time with the touchpad when an exam‘s 5 hours away with a sunrise in between, and I also know I’ve picked the precisely wrong time for doing that. The exams have passed by now though, taking with them a blur of a third semester. I realized, though, over this span of 14 surprisingly short weeks at the insti, that studies really are way more important than the next Prison Break episode, that assignments are to be submitted on time even if you manage to convince 85 in a batch of 86 that it’s OK not to, that I haven’t really changed much in the past few years- some say in the past ten- and that it’s never too late to try ironing my creases.

 ***

I hate using sentences with the word ‘life’ in them whenever it refers to one’s being; I’m too naïve, and it’s too way too early for me to do so. Plus I think things like “What I’ve learnt from life is…” or “Life is…” are for old people. I’ve edited these very lines at least thrice while typing them to make it very clear that they’re heavily opinionated. The word could’ve featured at least four to five times in the previous paragraph, and a few more times in the ones to follow. But it isn’t worth it. For me, it rarely is. I dislike Orkut status messages that say “Mah life’s screwed” or “Life’s tuf” or compare it to female dog, or any similar professions. They’re way too shallow for teenagers to be broadcasting. ‘Life’s like that’ is the only such sentence I like. Not because it’s by AP, but just because it’s too darn simple, and to the point, and so very logical. It’s almost instinctively understood, like ‘My name’s Bond’. Plus, it actually looks and sounds kind-of nice too. Try it.

 ***

For the record, by the way, in the fag end of the semester, I gave up on consuming eggs altogether, and thought it’s not really a bad idea to be a total vegetarian from now on. The guilt consumed me too much and too often for me to continue the habit. Also, I think it’s time I really start thinking seriously about my religion, and spirituality, in general, because talking to myself can only take me so far. It isn’t too hard on me and my schedule, and it can only make a better person.

 ***

One of my favourite pastimes, apart from the aforementioned game, the aforementioned TV series, and repeating long words in sentences, is reading through my past posts, and the comments on them. I love analyzing the changes in my writing- content and style-wise - and also reader reactions and frequency of comments. It’s fun. I actually cringe at the punctuation in my first few posts, and also realise how crazy the incessant brackets made you feel. It brings a smile to my face now that I think of it. And, laughing at the jokes in the comments, even when I know what‘s coming. It really is fun. I remember talking to my master about my blog, and he mentioned about the categorisation of the bloggers we know- the glory bloggers and the true bloggers. And he didn’t take a second to point out that I belonged to the first category. I agreed graciously, after an instinctive first rebuff. Before I forget, glory bloggers are those who post only once in a while, after a lot of editing and only after carefully considering whether their readers would love reading that or not. The second category, on the contrary, refers to those who post as and when they feel like, don’t really care what their readers think- or even if they have any- and stick to the definition of a web log. I guess I do fit into the first category, considering my aims at present, but also considering my shift in mood and content over the past few months, it isn’t long before I seamlessly shift to the latter. Talking of my lazy inactive master, I’d like to ask him, while restraining my impulsive desire to abuse him, to please start reading again. I guess I do fit into the first category!

I’d also like to add, that this habit of revisiting past mutterings, and discussions, extends to e-mails and chats, even those on Facebook- I sometimes copy-paste them and save them as drafts. I’ve also saved a few special mails in the ‘starred’ folder of my Gmail account.

 ***

The fact that I talk so much has made me so very transparent that I fear I may not have anything more about me to add when I’m tagged, if I’m tagged. For those who aren’t insane enough to get to the end of my posts, like AP, who I actually think might not even reach here, I’d like to remind you of my request to start the practice of tagging in the blogosphere again.

 ***

I’m typing this post as I sit in a delightfully warm room in Noida, where I’d reached last night after two bus rides I’d love to write home about. The first was with AP, where I, as usual, had a wonderful time chatting for almost the entire length of the six-hour journey, apart from the few motion-sick minutes where I’d slept with my mouth wide open. We came up with exciting plans for the magazine, ones we’d love to share with the Perusing Poet, who just about missed joining us.

The other was alone on a rickety Blueline, from the New Delhi inter-state bus station to Noida, in which I couldn’t stop raving about and feeling sad for and bad about the capital, at the same time. I was born in New Delhi and had lived 40 kilometres off the capital for about 9 years, before shifting to the city of destiny, Visakhapatnam. It’s been another nine years since, but clocks roll back effortlessly whenever I have a rendezvous with this wonderful mega-polis, and I still can’t understand, leave alone explain, the sheer love and affection I have for it. People who’ve lived here all their lives will probably never get it. Those who’ve shifted to the city might just. It doesn’t matter to me. I still can’t properly answer the very common question ‘What’s your hometown?’, and usually say ‘It’s kind-of complicated’. The feeling I have for Delhi is most efficiently described by this- je ne sais quoi.

 ***

Roaming around in the markets of Noida, it was impossible not to notice the greatly heightened security measures- frisking is mandatory at the entry points of almost every mall- and although it was only a Wednesday evening, and it was two days before a momentous one in India, December 6^th, the sparse crowds were conspicuous, and a fact that didn’t exactly make my first visit to Great India Place very exciting. Reading the news reports over the week, looking at the pictures of rallies all over the country, the news of the candle-light rally at the insti, and many conversations I’d heard or participated in, all pointed to just one thing- we’re all very very united right now. But it’s sad to think that only incidents as ghastly as those of the past week end up in shows of such solidarity and togetherness. I wonder if it really needed to take this horrid event for us to finally rise and demand for change. It’s not an accusation, and it’s not that I’m trying to suggest we’re hypocritical or that I don’t appreciate this unity in any way- it just comes as a question to a simple mind like mine. There’s been enough carnage in the past to instill a sense of doubt as to whether our chosen representatives have been capable enough of protecting our homeland. But, you know what? I love the fact that people don’t care whether the guy wearing that white T-shirt standing beside them is a fish-gobbling Bengali, or that lady in the white top is a chatter-some Punjabi, or that man in that sober white shirt is a Bihari, or even someone from the north-east, or any other arbit place- all that matters is that he/she is wearing white and holding a candle for India and Indians. It’s touching, and makes me proud. If only  we could have the same feeling every single day of our lives. Utopia is a wonderful place…

 ***

P.S.- This is only for those nice guys who… wait, I do have girls reading my blog, or at least I’m trying, or am deluded enough to think so, so… This is only for those wonderful faithful tolerant people who actually did read till here. It’d be nice if you inform me what you think of the name change for the page, if you’ve bothered to notice it, and whether you think I should scrap it.

 

P.P.S.- As much as I tried not to, for a fear of sounding depressing, I couldn’t help mentioning 26/11. It weighed a little too much on my mind.

 

P.P.P.S.- I deliberately avoided using examples with profanities in the ‘Life is…’ paragraph, although the most popular example is such, as popularised by the Wild Bore.

Of rekindled, current and messy affairs

Holidays usually make us bring out that oh-so-common line in our blogabulary closet- time to re-ignite the flames of my on-off affair with the television. (Ah, feels strange to use the full form, for a change. I know what you’re thinking, by the way!)

I was just surfing channels, which basically translates into going through the sports channels and then shifting to news if nothing’s going on. The next-channel-button-killing stopped when I saw a marquee on the screen saying- “Coming up- The US Presidential Debate”. I just happened to say to my brother, “Hey, this’ll be our first Debate watch right?”, and the remote was put down. With most phrases like “sub-prime crisis” , “the Georgia situation” , “the healthcare crisis” going over my head, the urge to move on to other channels was strong but, I thought it’d be a good idea to boast about it here. I kept on watching trying to get the nuances of the accent and also, the style of oration, while secretly admiring the lady in the last row, a glimpse of whom the camera had managed to catch while roving to capture Senator Barack Obama. A commercial break inevitably followed, and the remote was hastily picked up and three thumb-strokes later, the loud, boisterous voice of a news anchor struck me, with the words “Aakhir kyun roye Amitabh Bacchan? Jaan-ne ke liye, dekhte rahiye City60!” (Now why did Amitabh Bacchan break down? Keep watching City60 to find out!).

What happens next? A video plays with the original Big B delivering a few stirring dialogues from his uber-famous movie, Deewaar, and then shedding tears after the performance at a concert as part of his ongoing world tour. The same video is shown from 4 different angles, twice zoomed in, and another time in slow-motion with pictures of Amitabh’s (recently deceased) mother being flashed and another few times simultaneously with the original movie sequence. A thorough analysis, sprinkled generously with passionate questions asked by the anchor- “Aakhir kyun?” (After all, why?), “Kya mahanayak ko apni maa yaad aayi?” (Did the great actor reminisce of his own mother?) and others, ended that particular report. I quickly started the ride back to the channel broadcasting the Debate, but managed to catch a cue to the next report- “Aage dekhiye- Nana Patekar chhodkar film ki shooting, karne chale asli shooting!” (Up ahead- Nana Patekar picks up the rifle, leaving aside movie shooting.).

An intermediate channel was showing an interview of Montek Singh Ahluwalia, with the host being Karan Thapar. Two classy speakers, and I stopped by, only to hear more phrases go above my head (Liquidity crunch, anyone?) but with one Harvard and one Oxford alumnus on each side, I had to listen for a few minutes.

The Presidential Debate ended soon, and I had gained, apart from the knowledge that Estonia, Latvia and others were threatened by the re-emerging Russia, comfort in the fact that all this hullabaloo by some news channels to gather eyeballs was not going in vain, as my aunt came by to comment “Hey, is the Amitabh Bacchan report over? Why are you watching those American guys debating on Darfur? Switch over to the other channel, fast!”

Sadly, that report was finished. So was that programme. But, loyal viewers were not to be disappointed.

“Credit card. Mobile phone. Revolver. Akhbaar. Dekhiye kis tarah in chaar hathiyaron se kiya gaya ek ghinauna gunaah. Ab se bas kuch hi der mein...”

(How a credit card, a mobile phone, a revolver and a newspaper were used to commit a dastardly crime- we tell you in a few moments ...)

Garba in Ghatkopar, Disco Dandiya in Dombivli? Yeah, right! I’m interested!

P.S.- How long could I keep my (wrist-less, thanks to a few unhappy red ants) hands off that wonderful Shift+9, Shift+0 combination? Or the one at the start of this part, too...